Thanks a bunch, R Stanton Avery!

What inventions would the world be better off without? Nuclear bombs? Communism? Instant noodles?

All quite valid suggestions for discussion, but the scientist I want to give a right earful to is Mr R Stanton Avery. In 1935, he invented the first sticky label.

Perhaps we shouldn’t blame the inventor, but those who misapply the fruits of his labour. It is, however, a lot easier to have a go at one well-known man than the thousands, maybe millions, of faceless drones who think that plastering sticky labels all over products is somehow a good idea.

And it’s not just a single price label. No, we have to have bar code labels, best buy labels, suggested usage labels, warning labels, checked in the factory by Jenny 037 labels…

I wouldn’t mind so much if the labels came off quickly and easily – a technology that we now have. The labels rip and you have to peel them off in twenty-seven pieces. They leave a sticky residue that’s impossible to remove. It’s all right saying just use soapy water. There are certain products that can’t be immersed in water or can’t be scrubbed using abrasive pads without ruining their surfaces.

I bought three new metallic food bowls for my cats yesterday. There was a huge – and pointless – sticker on the inside of each bowl. Two out of the three labels left a residue that didn’t come off even after scrubbing with a washing up brush and soaking for hours in soapy water.

FOOD BOWLS.

Today’s rant has been brought to you by Blood, Love & Rhetoric. Thank you and have a safe journey home.