the standard half marylin

You sometimes ask yourself why you pay so much for your hair. And then you’re reminded: to avoid looking like this.

But needs must when the Devil filches from your purse to score salted liquorice: I needed a cheap root job to make my hair manageable in India and I needed it fast.

I knew something was up when the hairdresser said, ‘Gosh, the colour took quickly.’ I was aiming for a golden match, but my roots now encircle my head like a platinum halo. In the sunlight, I look positively beatific!

She offered to darken it, but I thought it was safer not to get any more volatile gunk slapped on my head while it still wasn't green. Goldilocks doesn’t look so bad from the front, but ... I know the multicolour look is currently in, but not when it looks like a result of standing out too long in peroxide rain. Hopefully gentlemen prefer accidental blondes, too.

However, at least I can now provide an answer to Kani’s question – if not the where, then the why: because you always need to find another one.